After-the-Fact Wedding Annoucements

Dear All,

I have now received my third after-the-fact wedding announcement, and I have decided to take action!

An old boyfriend who was a neighbor sent me an after-the-fact announcement. I think that he might have been gloating as we parted on bad terms. I left him in the middle of a deserted neighborhood near downtown Syracuse. I was tired of being bossed around, and he was tired of not being able to boss me around. On the announcement were many little pigs with wings; it said, "The pigs have flown". I guess they have.

The second was from a cousin of mine in California. The mother chided me for inviting them to my wedding in New York. "Of course we can't come!" she had said. I was fully expecting that she would decline the invitation, however I thought that it was more polite to invite them than not to invite them. When I received her son's wedding announcement, I thought to myself, "And this is polite?" I knew that he was engaged already. It didn't tell me anything I didn't hadn't already known, while managing to rub it in that I wasn't invited.

Last, my step-brother did the same thing to me. The first time he almost got married, he wasn't going to tell me at all unless he happened to see me in person. He lives in Omaha. I wrote him an e-mail that said I would be very hurt if he got married and didn't tell me ahead of time. They ended up not getting married that time, but he promised he wouldn't do it again. I believed him and forgave him because he's got some problems with organization similar to the ones that I have.

I must say however that I did make sure to invite him and his kids to my wedding. In fact, his daughter was the flower girl. If I could get it together so could he; anyway- a few days ago, I received a note from his new wife saying that they got married. I wrote him a note saying I was happy for him but very hurt at what he did, especially because he promised not to it, and knew it would hurt my feelings. I forwarded his e-mail to me in which he promised he wouldn't do it. I haven't heard from him.

The conclusion that seems most logical to me is that people who send after-the-fact announcements are just trying to get presents. If they really cared, then they would have invited the person in question. So, my action is: no presents. I will not reward this type of careless, tacky, hurtful behavior.

Sincerely,
Betsy