The Dishes Are Calling

Dear All,

When I look at a sink full of dirty dishes, I see a series of steps that I have not undertaken, but which I must, invariably, undertake.

I don't mind sweeping or mopping, there's just something about dirty dishes that seem very formidable. Perhaps I fear that I cannot get them clean enough. Perhaps I feel that there's something wrong with me that I let them accumulate. Perhaps I feel outraged at the sheer number of utensils, cooking vessels, storage containers, and serving implements it takes just to make one meal for two people. Worst of all, perhaps it reminds me of the fridge, which as far as I am concerned could be in another time zone.

Organization is not something that you can buy in a store. Trust me, I've tried. It is an act, a process. I hate the action of this process.

Hate isn't the entire story, though. Some days, cleaning is simply out of the question. My body is like lead and I can't think at all. I call these my dead-end-one-way-street days.

Some days I look at something that I need to organize, and I can't see how to do it. Other days I can see how to do it, but I don't have the energy. These two situations coincide about 40% of the time, thus I am not generally considered a neat person. I call these my red light days.

Sometimes I have a lot of energy, and through sheer determination, even though I can't see how to organize something, by doing one thing, and another and another, I can get things pretty clean. I would say this is happening more and more often, currently at a rate of about 25% of the time. These are very satisfying, but the results are unpredictable. I call these my yellow light days.

Sometimes though, everything seems very clear to me and I am able to whip through all of my tasks. I enjoy cleaning then. These are my green light days. They really aren't happening that often these days, but usually they happen once a week or so.

So saying that I hate cleaning (dish washing) is only an approximate truth. I hate failing at solving the puzzle of what to do first when there's a big job; to me dishes always seem like a big job.